ある日気がついた日があった。自由を制限しているのは自分自身だと。限界を決めて制限しているのは自分自身だと気がついた。でもすぐに自由を制限したくなる弱い自分がいる。限界を決めて引き返そうとする自分がいる。でも引き返しに引き返した人生の先に私にとってそうして良かったと思える土地は一つもなかった。引き返さず飛び込んだ自分こそ、その土地にこそ、自分が落ちていた。その自分というこだわりの塊を拾い集めては、飛び込むために捨て、それを繰り返すことでそれが人生だと気づきかけている。若者たちに伝えたい、昔も今も何も変わっていない、きっと原始時代からそうだろう、苦労した人が苦労した分だけ成長している。効率的に成長するなんてことはない。効率性から脱することこそ幸せへの第一歩だ。
遊び稽古
１体操
２天地投げ
本稽古
１合気体操
２足捌き
３受け身
４相半身ループ
５相半身片手取り四方投げ（杖）
６相半身片手取り四方投げ
７相半身片手取り一教表
８横面打ち四方投げ表
９横面打ち一教表
10横面打ち四方投げ裏
１１横面打ち一教裏
今日は私を含めて三人で稽古をした。冷房をつけても暑くてやってられないほどだったから、私を含めて三人で交代制で稽古をした。こんなに暑くてもきてもらえることは本当にありがたい。冷房があまり効かなくて申し訳ないと思ったが、外に出ると冷房がどれほど頑張ってくれているかに気づけた。人間なんて何も知らない、知らない誰かがどれほど苦労しているか。考えても考えても追いつきもしない。
One day, I realized something important: the person restricting my freedom was myself. The one setting limits and drawing boundaries was also myself.
Even after realizing that, however, there remains a weaker side of me that wants to impose those limits again. A part of me always wants to turn back before going too far. Yet when I look back on my life, I cannot think of a single place I reached by retreating where I later thought, I’m glad I turned back.
Instead, it was in the places where I chose not to retreat—where I stepped forward despite uncertainty—that I found myself. Time and again, I gather up the bundle of attachments and assumptions that I call “myself,” only to discard them so that I can take another leap into the unknown. Repeating that process, I am beginning to understand that perhaps this is what life is.
If I could tell young people one thing, it would be this: the essential truth has never changed. It was likely the same in ancient times as it is today. People grow through the hardships they face. There is no shortcut to growth. The belief that growth can always be optimized or made efficient is often an illusion. In fact, stepping away from an obsession with efficiency may be one of the first steps toward happiness.
Play practice
- Warm-up exercises
- Tenchi-nage
Main practice
- Aiki warm-up exercises
- Footwork
- Ukemi (breakfalls)
- Ai-hanmi loop movement
- Ai-hanmi katate-dori shiho-nage (with the jo)
- Ai-hanmi katate-dori shiho-nage
- Ai-hanmi katate-dori ikkyo omote
- Yokomen-uchi shiho-nage omote
- Yokomen-uchi ikkyo omote
- Yokomen-uchi shiho-nage ura
- Yokomen-uchi ikkyo ura
Today there were only three of us in practice, including myself. Even with the air conditioner running, the heat was intense enough that we had to take turns training. The fact that people still came despite the conditions filled me with gratitude.
I felt somewhat apologetic that the air conditioning could not fully keep up with the summer heat. Yet when I stepped outside afterward, I realized just how hard it had been working. Sometimes we only appreciate something when we experience its absence.
Perhaps the same is true of people. We know so little. We rarely see how much effort, sacrifice, or hardship is hidden behind the things that make our lives possible. There are countless people whose struggles remain invisible to us. No matter how much we try to imagine them, we can never fully catch up with all that we do not know.
Perhaps the best we can do is remain grateful—for the people who show up, for the things that quietly support us, and for the opportunity to continue practicing, learning, and moving forward one day at a time.
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